Brilliantly Resilient

Episode 164: How to Master Menopause with Modern Midlife Founder Catherine Grace O’Connell!

We have to change the idea of menopause as a four-letter word. Who do you trust? Where would you go for care? Take care of your mental state. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good. For me it's meditation, being in nature, exercise. Eat well. Be mindful; be aware. Talk to your doctor. Find the resources that are right for you. ~ Catherine Grace O'Connell The "M" word. If you're a woman, menopause looms in your life as something to dread–the end of vitality and usefulness. At least, that's the way it used to be. Catherine Grace O'Connell, the founder of  Forever Fierce: MIdlife Matters and Modlife Media, knows the power of women in midlife. A self-described "Ageism Positivist, Catherine sums up midlife for women like this: "Women at Midlife & Beyond are the Perfect Storm. We are the first demographic in history to have health and vitality, wisdom and life experience, and a pocketbook to match. We are a fierce creative force balanced by compassion and empathy. It's time we make our presence known!" Part sage, inspiration, practical advice, and all fierce fabulousness, Catherine has mastered her own challenges and turned midlife into a powerful period of creativity, using her wisdom and smarts to guide others to embrace midlife and find the joys and power within. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we love Catherine's spirit, can-do attitude and her practical strategies for making the most of modern midlife. (And she looks amazing, too!) To hear more of Catherine's wisdom, tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen in for these additional bits of brilliance: Most women at midlife are exhausted from the duty side of life. Those sparks of creativity and joy need to be honored. We must use our voice to inspire others and be who we are supposed to be. The urgency of the timeliness of life is our soul pushing us and saying, 'Hey, are you going to get on track for why you're really here?' Your heart starts speaking and telling you there's a reason you love what you love. There is a phoenix rising effect that you're rising from your old life's ashes. We're hungry for real authenticity. I was shaming myself for all of these things, but then I realized they are my strengths. The more struggles I overcame, I built my strength, I built my character. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin & Mary Fran

Episode 163: How to Learn Resilience from Civilians in a Country at War, with Dr. Greta Uehling

I went to Ukraine thinking I'd find victims of war and recipients of humanitarian aide. What I found were civilians creatively, consciously engaging in what was going on around them. ~ Dr. Greta Uehling Can you imagine life in a war zone? The residents of Ukraine have lived amidst devastating war and crisis for years, first with the invasion of the Crimean Peninsula and now with Russia's further invasion starting in 2022. For those of us living in the United States, life in a war zone is something we observe from afar. The images we most often see are devastating, showing civilians huddling in fear near bombed out homes and cities. Yet, when Dr. Greta Uehling visited Ukraine to better learn how civilians were coping with the war, she discovered resilience and brilliance as people often "made choices based on others' vulnerability," discovering also that "relationships became essential to resilience." Dr. Uehling's book, Everyday War illustrates how individuals found their worldview shifting as they discovered the importance of relationships, awareness of others' suffering and the usefulness of transferable skills in navigating life in a war zone with resilience. This week's powerful interview with Dr. Uehling illustrates the concepts of how to live a Brilliantly Resilient life in the most challenging of circumstances, highlighting the power of employing our transferable skills in service to others. Even Dr. Uehling's personal journey to Ukraine required a willingness to evolve with changing situations, and not being married to a particular outcome. Tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Dr. Uehling's wisdom, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: I had to let go of my previous agenda. I couldn't control the occupation of Crimea, but I still had the power of my pen. In my case, the anthropological skill set was very transferable and for me that was empathetic listening. The wife of a doctor found new life assisting people, finding resilience together with others, through the everyday ethic of care. You improvise your own ethics and decide what's right. People get to live another day. Value is placed on the gift of being alive; that's what's important. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin & Mary Fran

Episode 162: How to Keep Negativity From Determining Outcomes, with Superstar L.A. Williams!

Don't pre-plan a negative experience for yourself. Stop yourself within 17 seconds to keep a negative thought seed from germinating. Stop the negative thoughts and don't attract that negative vibration. ~ L.A. Williams How often do you look towards an upcoming event, goal, work or personal situation, and think, "This isn't going to go the way I want?" Most of us are guilty of sometimes assuming the worst of a situation even before it happens. Whether it's a form of self-protection, preparing for what we believe is certain disappointment, or planning a next step after failure, we focus on the potential negative outcome far more than we allow ourselves to consider the positive. Blind for the last 35 years and now a highly successful businessman, L.A. Williams has experienced negativity, and knows that allowing a negative mindset to take root will only bring on more of the same. Once we plant an idea or outcome in our minds, the brain begins to work on that scenario, helping us to consciously or unconsciously achieve exactly what we are telling ourselves will happen. It's essential to stop negativity in its tracks before it takes root–and setting a mental timer to get off the doom and gloom carousel is just the solution. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we've also welcomed failure with open arms by allowing it to grab hold of our minds. When we believed things wouldn't work out, they didn't, at least in part because all of our mental energy was preparing the way for us to fail. We're believers in intention and mindset. At the very least, living hopefully is a heck of a lot better than living miserably. At best, we've found over and over that showing negativity the door and setting a lovely place for success leads us precisely in that direction. To hear more of L.A.'s wisdom, tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. And be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: I didn't want anyone putting any limits on me. The only thing I can't do that you can do is see. If you're going to be successful, you have to bring the authenticity. People can see, smell and feel the phony coming off you. Let me show you why that is incorrect. I'll show you how I can take the limits and throw them to the side. There are multiple ways to do anything in life and I just have to find out the way I can do it. Adversity University is one of the best places to go to if you want to learn about life. The classes are going to be hard, but it's so worth it. Life is a team game–you have to find the players and coaches who can help you. Instead of assuming there is nothing, we have to ask the questions. You can attract answers by asking the questions. Every answer is out there. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin & Mary Fran

Episode 161: How to Manage Stress, Anxiety and Isolation in the Business World with Executives’ Global Network founder Nick Jonsson

We need to slow down our conversations and not just say, "I'm fine," when people ask how we are feeling. ~ Nick Jonsson How often do you respond, "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are feeling? It's almost automatic–partly because it's a standard greeting, but also because many of us believe that sharing our feelings, especially if we don't feel like rainbows and sunshine, is a sign of weakness. Being vulnerable and admitting to feeling lonely, stressed, anxious or depressed is particularly taboo if you're an executive in today's business world. We expect our leaders to be strong, even if that means they must ignore their humanity and the negative feelings that sometimes come with it. The problem is that refusing to acknowledge or manage those feelings only compounds the problem, weakening the ability to lead and live effectively and happily. Nick Jonsson knows first-hand the perils of suppressing negative feelings. After moving to a foreign country, leaving friends and family behind, Nick struggled with isolation and turned to some unhealthy ways to manage the strain. It was after a friend's suicide that he realized the problem was more widespread than simply personal.  Nick founded the Executives' Global Network–a confidential peer networking group of over 700 executives to share their challenges, receive support and learn. He also authored Executive Loneliness: The 5 Pathways to Overcoming Isolation, Stress, Anxiety and Depression in the Modern Business World, and created a suicide prevention organization. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that life isn't always brilliant. Anyone can experience negative feelings–regardless of how things look to those on the outside. Building a tribe of support is essential to mental health, as is allowing ourselves to acknowledge our vulnerability. Once we do, we often find a community of others who not only feel the same way, but serve as a source of strength as we regain our emotional equilibrium. To hear more of Nick's wisdom, tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: Executive men especially keep secret and silent until we can't cope any more and we turn to other things that can end up harming us. Vulnerability and being able to speak openly and honestly about what we're feeling is a gift. We need to find safe places to talk about how we feel. Many people are not responding. They are terrified about opening up. There is so much shame or guilt. We don't have the tools to manage our relationships and feelings of isolation as executives. You can't expect your team to talk to you if you aren't willing to be vulnerable yourself. We need to exercise our muscle of vulnerability. Dare to be vulnerable and show that you're human. We can learn to cultivate a healthy mind and lead with empathy by embracing vulnerability, building resilience through personal experience and the journey to emotional intelligence, and supporting our community. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO,  Mary Fran & Kristin  

Episode 160: How to be Seen, Heard and Remembered, with Mildred Talabi

Be seen, heard and remembered. I had a whole period of my life where I was afraid to use my voice. I was afraid to be visible. I could have done so much more if I hadn't been afraid to be visible. Start being visible. ~ Mildred Talabi Have you ever found yourself wanting to speak up about something but you remained silent? Whether it's because we lack the confidence to speak up, we think our opinion isn't valuable, or we feel less than others in the room–especially at work–it's not uncommon for people, especially women, to stay silent rather than speak up and have all eyes on us. When we're visible, that means we can be vulnerable. We step into the spotlight and take the chance others won't like us or what we stand for. But what if the opposite happens? What if our message resonates with others and we can finally find the purpose in life that we've been seeking? Mildred Talabi, this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, knows how it feels to watch life go by on the sidelines. It wasn't until a major health crisis caused Mildred to recognize that she was letting opportunities to live life on her terms pass by that she knew she had to to step into the spotlight, speak up, and make an impact.  Today, Mildred is an author and leader of the Visible Women Tribe and also teaches others how to build a brand on LinkedIn by using the platform as a community to build the bonds of personal and professional trust and share their brilliance with the world.  Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know the power of a supportive tribe, and we also believe in speaking up and owning your brilliance. Each of us has the potential to share that brilliance with others to make the world a better place. Tune in to this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Mildred's wisdom and be sure to listen for the additional bits of brilliance: There was a gift in my adversity. I knew I had to decide what was really important in my life and how I wanted to live. Here's how you can become visible on LikedIn: PACE Profile–Who are you? Audience–Who is your audience? Content–Your vehicle to be seen Engagement–LinkedIn is about engagement and building community. Use LInkedIn as a community space and be personal. If you're going to build a personal brand, you can't avoid the personal When you add the personal content, people get to know you. It helps to strengthen the bond and build trust.  Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin and Mary Fran

Episode 159: How to Have ”Tough Conversations for Easier Endings,” with Yvonne Caputo

Having the hard conversations with a loved one and then sharing what we've learned can be a gift to others who love that person but can't have those conversations. The Five Wishes helped me start those conversations. ~ Yvonne Caputo How much do you enjoy having hard conversations? If you're like most of us, you'd rather go to the dentist than have a difficult conversation with a loved one–or anyone, for that matter. Hard conversations are, well, hard. They frequently involve intense and unpleasant emotions, and we only venture into that territory when we've exhausted every other means of avoiding the situation. But Yvonne Caputo, this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, has experienced the upside of hard conversations–getting to know a loved one better and honoring him towards the end of, and after his life. Yvonne is the author of Flying with Dad and Dying with Dad, two books that prove the value of asking difficult questions and listening (deeply, as Yvonne says), to the answers. While it wasn't easy to initiate those conversations, Yvonne found help in utilizing a document titled The Five Wishes, which encourages conversations about end of life care and the needs and wishes of those relying on others for care. After asking the tough emotional questions, Yvonne found that the answers prompted more loving and enlightening conversations with her father about his life. Having challenging conversations, no matter the topic, is never easy. Yet once we begin asking questions and seeking answers, we often find new information that makes a situation easier to understand and navigate. Part of being resilient is having the courage to move forward even when we don't really want to. Tune in to hear more of Yvonne's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: The more I asked questions, the more he trusted me. And I began to understand my father on a deeper level. The five wishes was a critical document. It took an advance directive for a parent and brought out all the heart. By asking the questions, I found discovery after discovery about my father. Knowing what my father wanted, I was able to honor him. By knowing what people want, we can ease their transition for us and them. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin and Mary Fran  

Episode 158: How to ”Do Your Bit” to Make the World Better with Lynn Cummings

Nobody told us we couldn't change the world, so we thought we could. ~ Lynn Cummings What would your ideal world look like? Lynn Cummings and her husband, parents of 3 adopted children (all abused) are a mixed race family. For Lynn, a diverse neighborhood full of welcoming people, regardless of race, was the dream. Yet, when people of color began moving into Lynn's suburban neighborhood years ago, Lynn noticed the sale signs that soon sprouted up on the lawns of her white neighbors. Lynn notes, "I was so happy to see the neighborhood that I wanted to live in and so sad to see others wanted to leave because of that." Long a believer in the simple phrase, "Just do your bit," Lynn and her husband decided to do something about what they saw as an opportunity to create the welcoming environment they wanted for their children and others. They started an organization called  "Neighbors Empowering People" to stop white flight in their town. Today, Lynn's neighbors include multiple ethnicities all engaged in a thriving community. Being Brilliantly Resilient isn't hard. All it really takes is action, commitment and passion for your values. When we all simply "Do our bit," with positive intention and energy, we actually can change the world. Tune in for more of Lynn's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: Part of my motivation was to help create the world I wanted my children to live in. In order to make change, you have to go to the power structures. We began to work on stable integration. The building up of the body and the community. That's really what resilience means. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin and Mary Fran  

Episode 157: How to Define YOUR Success, with Matthew Turner

If you're only subscribing to someone else's version of success, it's not going to make you happy because it's not your version; you never really wanted it. We have to take time on the front end to figure out what that success means to us. ~ Matthew Turner How do you define success? For most of us, the word "success" is tied to professional recognition, money and some level of prestige. But do those things truly bring happiness? And what is the cost of achieving them? Author Matthew Turner explores those questions in his latest book, Beyond the Pale, in which his protagonist achieves society's version of success, only to find he never truly wanted it. In this fictional account, Ferdinand fulfills the expectations of what he was told was success, only to discover that success means something entirely different to him personally.  According to Matthew, personal success means different things to different people–one size doesn't fit all. The way to discover what success means to each of us begins with focusing on the one thing we truly own–our values, and moving forward from there.  Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe that defining personal values is the first step to accessing resilience and rising after challenges. When we act based on what is genuinely important to us, we follow our true path and open the door to opportunities that resonate with us–helping us to define our own versions of success, and allowing our brilliance to shine. It's not always easy to change; as Matthew reminds us, Whenever you have an awakening, it's almost always easier to roll over and stay asleep, but it is worth it. Take time to decide what success means to YOU, and jettison the guilt you may feel at abandoning a path that may not lead you to where you really want to be. Tune in to hear more from Matthew on this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: Whenever you have an awakening, it's almost always easier to roll over and stay asleep. How dare you have the audacity to change your mind? We put a lot of guilt into changing our minds. We spend too little time focusing on our individual values and principals. If you don't have values, what do you own? They are your version of doing the right thing. We spend too little time focusing on our individual values and principals. If you don't have values, what do you own? They are your version of doing the right thing. Replace success with meaning and purpose and recognize that success is malleable. Really successful people define success on their own terms. They deconstruct society's idea of success and create their own. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO,  Kristin and Mary Fran  

Episode 156: How to De-Glamorize the Lack of Self-Care in College Students, with Gabi Drobot

You have to trust yourself. If I didn't trust myself when everything went wrong, I wouldn't be where I am. Even if you trust yourself though, you also have to have someone else trust you. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel what you feel. Keep talking and someone will eventually listen.  ~ Gabi Drobot No sleep. Lousy diets. Stress and continuous overwhelm. Feelings of failure. Sounds awful, doesn't it? Yet, that's precisely what many of our college students experience every day. In our idealized vision of college life, we see the independence and fun of college life–the partying, the fun, the self-absorption that comes with the freedom of life away from home and its obligations. Yet, at least half of all college students report feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and unable to keep up.  As Gabi Drobot reports, this lack of self-care is epidemic, and sometimes even glamorized, by the young people experiencing its effects.  A college sophomore and staff writer for the paper at her university, Gabi developed an interest in spotlighting mental health for students after experiencing her own challenges and recognizing the lack of helpful, open conversation around the subject. Gabi has become an advocate for encouraging students not to see ignoring self-care as a badge of honor, but rather to recognize the perils to both present and future when students fail to take physical and mental care of themselves. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know how challenging it can be to carve out time to minister to oneself. Life's obligations often mean we are last on our own lists. Yet the effects of ignoring our physical and mental health can quickly damage our personal and professional lives, causing cracks in the very foundations we are trying desperately to keep strong. Remember to take time for self-care–especially by getting enough sleep!--and watch for signs that the young people in your life are struggling. Together we can help prioritize our mental and physical health, allowing us all to live Brilliantly Resilient lives! Read Gabi's article on Deglamorizing the Lack of Self-Care in College Students and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance on this week's edition of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast! Fifty percent of college students report daytime sleepiness and 70% report not getting enough sleep. I felt like I couldn't share my feelings because it wasn't a "normal" conversation. If we make it an open conversation, how many people could this help? I chunked off my day. Morning is class, afternoon is work and at night I can do what I want. It helped me put aside my FOMO. Surrounding yourself with people with common goals and spending time by yourself is so important. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin & Mary Fran

Episode 155: How to Help Girls ”Dream It and Be It” with Soroptimist International of Indian Rock

I just wanted to say that I really needed to hear this today. I'm going through something and I really needed to hear that I can do it. Thank you. ~ Attendee from Soroptimist "Dream It, Be It" Conference for Girls  It's not easy to be a young person today. Conflict is the norm, uncertainty is the future, and Covid has wreaked havoc on every aspect of life, particularly affecting young people, for the past three years. The U.S. Surgeon General has warned of a crippling mental health crisis affecting our youth. Enter Soroptimist International, a volunteer group founded in 1921 with clubs in 121 countries that is dedicated to the advancement of women and girls. Each year, Soroptimist International hosts the Dream It, Be It, conference, where young women of high school age are offered sessions to learn about career options, career skills and planning, time management, resilience strategies, and more.  Nancy Staich, a Soroptimist volunteer, notes that it's important that young women know it's okay to reinvent themselves as life changes. Evolution is natural and it's never too late to take a new path and recreate yourself. Nancy adds that the need for resilience is never ending, and building a supportive tribe is equally essential for a young woman's current and future success. We were blessed to be able to share Brilliantly Resilient with this amazing group of young women and provide tips to Reset with Resilience, Rise and Reveal their Brilliance. The quote above was from a young lady who came to us immediately after our presentation to affirm that it's important to remind our young people of their strengths and continue to provide them with tools and mentors to grow towards success. We all have a responsibility to equip our youth with the tools and strategies needed for success. Get involved and make a difference. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to learn more, and be sure to look out for these additional bits of brilliance: We want girls to think about what they want. What am I really passionate about? What do I care about? We want girls to remember that they're bringing their entire selves to work. They have to see themselves as whole people. It's okay to recreate yourself when you need to recreate yourself. It's never too late. We want the girls to build a tribe and talk to people who can help them learn and grow. There are mentors out there who want to help. Learn more about Soroptimist International of Indian Rock at: www.investindreams.org Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Mary Fran & Kristin