Brilliantly Resilient

You have to trust yourself. If I didn't trust myself when everything went wrong, I wouldn't be where I am. Even if you trust yourself though, you also have to have someone else trust you. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel what you feel. Keep talking and someone will eventually listen.  ~ Gabi Drobot No sleep. Lousy diets. Stress and continuous overwhelm. Feelings of failure. Sounds awful, doesn't it? Yet, that's precisely what many of our college students experience every day. In our idealized vision of college life, we see the independence and fun of college life–the partying, the fun, the self-absorption that comes with the freedom of life away from home and its obligations. Yet, at least half of all college students report feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and unable to keep up.  As Gabi Drobot reports, this lack of self-care is epidemic, and sometimes even glamorized, by the young people experiencing its effects.  A college sophomore and staff writer for the paper at her university, Gabi developed an interest in spotlighting mental health for students after experiencing her own challenges and recognizing the lack of helpful, open conversation around the subject. Gabi has become an advocate for encouraging students not to see ignoring self-care as a badge of honor, but rather to recognize the perils to both present and future when students fail to take physical and mental care of themselves. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know how challenging it can be to carve out time to minister to oneself. Life's obligations often mean we are last on our own lists. Yet the effects of ignoring our physical and mental health can quickly damage our personal and professional lives, causing cracks in the very foundations we are trying desperately to keep strong. Remember to take time for self-care–especially by getting enough sleep!--and watch for signs that the young people in your life are struggling. Together we can help prioritize our mental and physical health, allowing us all to live Brilliantly Resilient lives! Read Gabi's article on Deglamorizing the Lack of Self-Care in College Students and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance on this week's edition of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast! Fifty percent of college students report daytime sleepiness and 70% report not getting enough sleep. I felt like I couldn't share my feelings because it wasn't a "normal" conversation. If we make it an open conversation, how many people could this help? I chunked off my day. Morning is class, afternoon is work and at night I can do what I want. It helped me put aside my FOMO. Surrounding yourself with people with common goals and spending time by yourself is so important. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin & Mary Fran

I just wanted to say that I really needed to hear this today. I'm going through something and I really needed to hear that I can do it. Thank you. ~ Attendee from Soroptimist "Dream It, Be It" Conference for Girls  It's not easy to be a young person today. Conflict is the norm, uncertainty is the future, and Covid has wreaked havoc on every aspect of life, particularly affecting young people, for the past three years. The U.S. Surgeon General has warned of a crippling mental health crisis affecting our youth. Enter Soroptimist International, a volunteer group founded in 1921 with clubs in 121 countries that is dedicated to the advancement of women and girls. Each year, Soroptimist International hosts the Dream It, Be It, conference, where young women of high school age are offered sessions to learn about career options, career skills and planning, time management, resilience strategies, and more.  Nancy Staich, a Soroptimist volunteer, notes that it's important that young women know it's okay to reinvent themselves as life changes. Evolution is natural and it's never too late to take a new path and recreate yourself. Nancy adds that the need for resilience is never ending, and building a supportive tribe is equally essential for a young woman's current and future success. We were blessed to be able to share Brilliantly Resilient with this amazing group of young women and provide tips to Reset with Resilience, Rise and Reveal their Brilliance. The quote above was from a young lady who came to us immediately after our presentation to affirm that it's important to remind our young people of their strengths and continue to provide them with tools and mentors to grow towards success. We all have a responsibility to equip our youth with the tools and strategies needed for success. Get involved and make a difference. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to learn more, and be sure to look out for these additional bits of brilliance: We want girls to think about what they want. What am I really passionate about? What do I care about? We want girls to remember that they're bringing their entire selves to work. They have to see themselves as whole people. It's okay to recreate yourself when you need to recreate yourself. It's never too late. We want the girls to build a tribe and talk to people who can help them learn and grow. There are mentors out there who want to help. Learn more about Soroptimist International of Indian Rock at: www.investindreams.org Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Mary Fran & Kristin

  Don't operate from a fear mindset, operate from a growth mindset. Look at life from a Brilliantly Resilient lens. ~ Kristin Smedley and Mary Fran Bontempo Happy birthday to us!!! We can't believe it, but this week–March 7th–marks the 3rd birthday of Brilliantly Resilient! When we started Brilliantly Resilient, we planned a "world tour" of speaking on stages, sharing our process to Reset, Rise and Reveal Your Brilliance to the world. We prepared, we created, we dreamed and then, on March 7th, we had our first Brilliantly Resilient live event! It was amazing!! We couldn't have asked for more and we were so excited for the future of Brilliantly Resilient. Then, on March 14th, 2020, the entire world shut down. And so did all of our plans. Given what we preach, you'd think we immediately started to Reset with Resilience. Instead, we cried, we complained, we shook our fists at the heavens…and then we got over ourselves. We realized that we couldn't control anything that was happening in the world, but we could control our response. So, we decided to practice what we were preaching and started to look for ways to share Brilliantly Resilient–when we couldn't leave home. Fast forward three incredible years, and we have a top-rated podcast, a book, we've traveled around the country, both in person and virtually–all to share the Brilliantly Resilient program with thousands of others. As we often say, we are our own best case study, and have implemented each step of the Brilliantly Resilient process over and over again–proving that it works. We work the Brilliantly Resilient steps every day, and we've moved from a fear mindset to a growth mindset. Simply put, that means that instead of crashing and burning with challenges, we acknowledge them, make values-based decisions, check our perspective and see what's in our control. We can then take imperfect action (we've learned that nothing is perfect, and that's okay) and evolve with what happens next. Sharing Brilliantly Resilient has been a joyous opportunity, and we're incredibly grateful for those of you who have learned, laughed and discovered your resilience and brilliance with us. Thank you is not enough, but a heartfelt thanks to you all for your support. We're just getting started! Tune into this week's podcast to hear more (from us!), and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: When everything is taken away, you get to go back to your basic values, figure out what's important, and make decisions based on that. You can create a process for managing things. I look at life through a Brilliantly Resilient lens now, not as a victim or in anger. Now I know how I'm going to show up when a sucker punch comes along.  You can bring your transferable skills to every experience. Figure out what your Brilliant skill set is and bring that to every experience and see what happens. Then find others with complementary skill sets to add to your tribe. Kids don't look at failure as failure. They look at it as a learning opportunity.  Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Kristin and Mary Fran  

I had a very successful fitness business, but I had to get away from the toxic expectations of the fitness industry. I couldn't sell six pack ab products anymore. I had to shut it down. ~ Katie Bramlett Have you ever had something that's supposed to be good for you end up feeling bad for you? Many of us feel that way about exercise. We know it's good for us, but it doesn't always feel that way.  Katie Bramlett, this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast is a fitness guru. But even Katie knew, despite having great success in the fitness industry, that the traditional view of exercise and fitness had become toxic.  Realizing that the key to fitness was more about intentional movement connected to self-care than endless crunches, squats and striving for unattainable physiques, Katie closed down her businesses and started WeShape–intending to build a community focused on a shift away from a number on the scale. By focusing on movement as a self-care practice and adjustable programs to help all users achieve success, Katie built a company based on shared values and gratitude for what any body is capable of doing. When we live a values-based life, we often find that our work and personal lives reach out to each other, allowing us to be true to what we believe and to find ways to incorporate those beliefs into our actions. To hear more from Katie, tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: The idea of fitting in jeans will not be a sustainable reason to keep up with an exercise program. I hated exercise because I was doing it for the wrong reasons.  It has to be an act of self-care. If we focus on a number on the scale, even if we get to that number, it's fake fulfillment. It's external fulfillment. We can't have a belief that our worth comes from a number on a scale. We have to understand that with 8 billion people in the world, we all can't have the same body type. Feel gratitude for what your body can do. I had to fight my own mindset of "I'm not an expert." I just knew this was so important, so I did it despite the internal and external negativity against making fitness about connecting to the self. WeShape is based on a meaningful shift away from the number on the scale to movement and connection with self and community. Our program is based on movement we can scale up or down depending on what the user needs. ~ Katie Bramlett Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Mary Fran & Kristin  

Alternative pathways to learning and education are really the key to educating today's students. So, how are we interconnected to businesses? How are we connected to the community? Everyone has that buy-in. How can we get businesses and the community and non-profits involved? ~Carlos Aponte Do you remember what you learned in Geometry class? Philosophy? Chemistry? Much of what we learned as students was intended to offer a well-rounded education, gearing us towards college–where we often took classes that were equally forgettable. (A course in James Joyce for English? Mary Fran had a headache for a solid month!)  Carlos Aponte taught in the Philadelphia school system for over ten years. Having lived through childhood trauma, Carlos recognized that many of his students were also struggling with serious challenges, and the educational system was not meeting their needs. Further, the path for students not headed for college often seemed like a dead-end. Knowing there was a better way, Carlos created the non-profit We Love Philly, a program that allows students to earn high school credits while learning how to practice self-care, engage with their community, create their own personal brand, and apprentice at area businesses.  Carlos recognizes the value in educating the whole student, and knows that encouraging the individual, as well as area businesses and organizations, to engage and support each other allows young people to feel a sense of worth and belonging that carries into adulthood.  Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe in building powerful tribes based on complementary skills sets so that everyone brings their best selves to every challenge. And living based on values with an emphasis on self-care helps our young people recognize their own power and worth, helping them to find their place in the world–both big and small. Tune into this week's episode to hear more from Carlos and listen for these additional bits of brilliance: You can't have an ounce of judgment in your bones when you're working with young people. You have to get through the trust / mistrust stage before you can reach kids. Once your body, mind and soul are aligned, you can do anything. There is a major disconnect between administration, teachers and students with the diverse learning styles and proficiencies in those groups. The brains are different and learn differently.  Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!  Mary Fran & Kristin  

Emotions are indicators. If we see the red on a battery, we don't shame our computers. We see it as something we have to take care of for optimal performance. Imagine if we gave these human vessels…that same grace to say my emotions are indicators, not inconveniences. They let us know that if you want me to operate optimally, you need to acknowledge that I feel this….We need to ask ourselves, "What do I need in order to be well?" ~ Shannon Cohen How often have you warned yourself to control your emotions? Though we are inherently emotional beings, people often see emotions as detrimental–at least to success.  Shannon Cohen, speaker, author and business owner, encourages "using a head+heart approach" to success, productivity and everyday life. She reminds us that emotions are indicators of our overall health–not to be ignored. Given life's everyday challenges, and especially the difficulties of the last several years, it's easy to see how our emotions could get the better of us. Yet, if we recognize our emotions as a tool to determine what we need, both physically and mentally, we can better define what is in our control and come up with an action step–a Brilliantly Resilient strategy for sure. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Shannon's wisdom and check out her book, It's Normal to Shake as You Soar. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: Turbulence is part of the process of take-off and greatness. Building is messy. We need to find the wisdom and the gratitude in the messiness.  When we ask people "How are you?" it's a battery check. It's an indicator check. The next question we need to ask ourselves is "What do I need in order to be well," because often the problem and the solution lie within the same place. Disengagement has always been one of the biggest corporate challenges. Covid took the lid off this and we could no longer be the manicured culture we were. We were glamorizing going back when "back" wasn't so great. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Mary Fran & Kristin

When we're betrayed, our self-trust is totally shattered. There is a breakdown of body, mind & worldview. We need to regain and relearn our trust in ourselves. Our gut is so much more perceptive than our mind. ~ Dr. Debi Silber Have you ever been betrayed? Betrayal sounds like a soap-opera word–too dramatic to apply to everyday life. Yet, almost everyone has experienced betrayal at some point, either as an adult through trauma like divorce, or as a youth, when a best friend suddenly decides you aren't "cool" enough anymore and moves on without you. Think about a hurt that still hurts, even though it may have happened years ago. That's betrayal. Dr. Debi Silber, holistic psychologist and author of Trust Again, knows betrayal firsthand. More importantly, she knows how to guide those traumatized by betrayal through the 5 stages of healing where we again become healthy, whole, and are back on solid ground. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we've experienced betrayal, and it hurts. It's also easy to get stuck in betrayal, making it a story that defines us instead of learning and choosing to move on.  Dr. Silber reminds us that rebuilding after betrayal is indeed a choice. As we say in Brilliantly Resilient terms, "Are you just visiting your crisis, or are you going to live there?"   In this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Dr. Silber not only defines betrayal, but walks us through the 5 stages of healing to help us move towards "healing, rebirth, and a new worldview." (Tune in at the 18:38 minute mark to hear about the 5 stages.) Tune in for more from Dr. Silber in this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional Brilliance Bits: Betrayal lends itself to creating a new identity. Rebuilding is a choice. Hope is not a strategy. There's a collection of symptoms (physical/mental/emotional) so common to betrayal it's known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. Betrayal is a very different type of trauma. It feels personal. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! MFB & KS

It's about doing it. It's not about anything else. It's not about the goal. Pick a goal that you will never achieve but start putting into place each step and focus on the ladder rungs. One action at a time. ~ Jeremy Grater "This is the year."  How many times have you told yourself (especially at the start of a new year), that this would be the year you would…lose weight, get a new job, start your own business, write that book….? The list goes on, as does the number of times we make promises to ourselves and fail. When we believe something will benefit us, why do we fail continually, making us feel even worse about not achieving those ever-elusive goals?  Jeremy Grater, joining Brilliantly Resilient as one half of the dynamic duo hosting The Fit Mess podcast along with partner Zach Tucker, knows a bit about not achieving goals. Beginning their podcast journey as two guys who talked beer and jokes, Jeremy and Zach soon realized that something was missing, and it began with their health. Both were determined not to just talk about fitness, but to achieve it, and as Jeremy tells it, that required two things: curiosity and action. And as far as goals, Jeremy has some interesting advice–set impossible goals and focus on one ladder rung at a time. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that goals can be helpful–and exhausting. Breaking them down into micro-actions that we eventually won't resist is a brilliant way to make progress. Tune in to hear more from Jeremy and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance Start with curiosity. Why do you want to make this change? You can't say "This is the year," because it's not. Change has to start with small steps. Do that one thing every day until it becomes a habit. Take the smallest incremental steps until it becomes the thing you don't have to fight against What can I do to prepare for who I want to become and the way I want to live? If you sit around waiting for the perfect moment, the opportunity is going to pass.   Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Kristin & Mary Fran

"I really think that none of us has to be as scared of ourselves as we are. We don't have to be worried that we're going to turn into monsters." ~ Ashleigh Renard Are you married or in a long-term relationship? Have you ever thought about what life would be like if you weren't in that relationship? If we're honest, most of us have had moments where we fantasize about being free of obligations–and sometimes, that even means a marriage. But rather than examine why we're feeling that way, we shame ourselves into acting like everything is okay, even when it isn't. Ashleigh Renard, this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, notes that feeling like something is missing doesn't make us awful people. In fact, we're obligated to pause and consider what we want, what's working and what isn't–for everyone's sake. When we're honest, we can fix things, not just so they're better, but great. Through her book Swing and her Keeping It Hot viral video series, Ashleigh offers tips and strategies about how to stay connected, renegotiate marriage and most importantly, keep monogamy hot! (Whhaaattt???!!!)  Hilarious and heartfelt, Ashleigh is full of wit and wisdom and urges us to ditch the martyr-mom (twin sister of the supermom), and pay attention to ourselves. (She took her first step to personally do so by promising to heed her body and go to the bathroom when she needed to. Any other women out there holding it until you're ready to burst because someone needs something from you? Raise your hands, ladies!) Hear more from Ashleigh on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: We take action on autopilot because we don't have to make decisions. It feels safer; you don't want to rock the boat. So often we push away from each other because we are pushing away from ourselves. Have radical compassion for yourself. Maybe there is no bad guy here. The only way to move is to be on your path and say, 'I'd like you to join me.' But we can't go back and try to pull them along. So often we push away from each other because we are pushing away from ourselves. Ashleigh Renard (https://ashleighrenard.com/) Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Kristin and Mary Fran

There's a perception about what nurses do and there's what nurses actually do. Nursing needs to start talking about itself. Every healthcare consumer should understand what nurses do. Visibility is key. ~Donald Bucher Do you feel safe and respected while doing your job? Most of us would say, "Of course." While we might not have the perfect working environment, we don't go to work with the expectation that we might be abused verbally or physically on any given day. Not so with nurses. One study noted that almost 90% of nurses reported experiencing some type of abuse at work–mostly at the hands of patients or their families.  It was only a few short years ago that we greeted health care workers with applause, celebration and gratitude. Yet, even then, the politicization of Covid left many nurses on the receiving end of anger and frustration, and nurses still bear the brunt of patient dissatisfaction and fear today. Donald Bucher, a registered Nurse Practitioner and this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, is an advocate for those in the nursing profession. Upbeat, positive and empathetic, Don still recognizes the need for the public to know just how hard nurses really work, and he wants the nursing community to speak up both to educate others and protect themselves. Respect for others, as well as ourselves, is at the core of a civilized society. Everyone has the right to expect civility, especially while doing a life-saving job. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, respect is a core principle in how we treat each other, regardless of any differences we may encounter.  Tune in to this week's episode to hear more from Don and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: The nurses are the ones standing there for 12 hours a day picking up on things with patients that help save your loved one. It's a difficult time to be in healthcare. Nurses love what we do, but it's hard. You're asked to do much more with less time. It's hard. We have to remember that when you're interacting with a family, they're having the worst day of their lives. But nurses still need to feel respected and safe. The voices (of nurses) needed to be louder during Covid. I challenge nurses to join their organizations to make that voice louder. ~ Donald Bucher (https://www.pacnp.org/) Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Kristin and Mary Fran